continuing my long lost research.. hehe
http://www.michael-thomas.com/tech/uml/tutorial_uml_eclipseuml_firststeps/index.htm
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
help!
Im a mess right now! My stuff is not organized. My works are not properly done. I hate this....
Need to refocus... and be calm..
Saturday, June 26, 2010
June
Bunch of stuff happened this month. I went for my Induksi (a compulsory course to get confirmed my job) for two weeks. Then me and hubby went to JB for my LI ( jalan2 visit student), met my good friend, kak mitra whom has taught me a lot of things in life. Then, my parents left for Cairo. After that they will be doing Umrah in Makkah Al-Mukarrama. Ouh well.. all of us are missing mak and ayah. :(
So I was thinking to write about what I've learned during my Induksi, and my short visit to JB. I think the last time I went to JB was 3 or 4 years back. But need to set my priority right. The conference is just around the corner and my database is not yet ready for a real user.
So today I started my old stuff again. I've been doing a few changes but this thing just wont take my changes and I can't articulate why. OK surprisingly... It is chrome that doesn't take the changes. When I tested in IE it works just fine. Now I feel bad for always bad mouthing IE. hehe.
So I was thinking to write about what I've learned during my Induksi, and my short visit to JB. I think the last time I went to JB was 3 or 4 years back. But need to set my priority right. The conference is just around the corner and my database is not yet ready for a real user.
So today I started my old stuff again. I've been doing a few changes but this thing just wont take my changes and I can't articulate why. OK surprisingly... It is chrome that doesn't take the changes. When I tested in IE it works just fine. Now I feel bad for always bad mouthing IE. hehe.
Monday, May 31, 2010
my 1st flex web application
I'm not sure if I did a good job on it. Well just wait and see for the feedback.. if it ever get to be used. Anyway I just glad I've got something working. http://hidayahyatim84.s43.eatj.com/ISBCDevApp/isbcpapers.html After a bunch of trial and error. Honestly I don't like working this way. It would be really great if I really understand the method and makes me have control on stuff. Ouh well I still have a long way to go..
So my directory pretty much end up looking like this for the project. hehehe.
So my directory pretty much end up looking like this for the project. hehehe.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sufi Farisa
I could still picture her vividly. Her chubby face, how she talked, how she laughed, frowned. How she fond of hubby. and me too apparently. hehe. Well she pretty much liked everybody. She had so much energy in her. I'm really grateful I could be apart of her life. Even for a short while. It's just that I wish I had hug her that night and tell her how much I adore her..
I first met Sufi Farisa when she was a baby. That time when I visited hubby's house at Gombak (we were still bf/gf back then). Then she got bigger and she called me kak dayah. Later she called me autie-kak-dayah. Which was a bit long but really cute. heh. Hubby told me a lot about her. She was his first niece. and she was really manja with him. Like mama said wan spoiled farisa a lot. heh.
The thing that I remember most about her is the gaga song. She would sing the song enthusiastically with the hand and jumping here and there. Farisa liked to give advices too. She would advise us a lot of things. Like telling hubby not to call me honey but auntie dayah instead. She would read the doa when we got into our car.
She always told me to sit with her. And not to go anywhere else of course. Then her mom; kak long would told her not to ordering me around. hehe.
She was the center of attention in the family. Her loss is a great test put upon the family. I have learn that Allah put test to the people that He loves. I pray that mama and babah, kak long and abg firdaus, faris and fariha, hubby, fiq and yen, kak yam and kak ani, the whole family, are given the strength to pass on this test. Farisa is chosen by the Almighty to be in a better place. She will always be remembered. Rest in peace Sufi Farisa. Al-Fatihah.
I first met Sufi Farisa when she was a baby. That time when I visited hubby's house at Gombak (we were still bf/gf back then). Then she got bigger and she called me kak dayah. Later she called me autie-kak-dayah. Which was a bit long but really cute. heh. Hubby told me a lot about her. She was his first niece. and she was really manja with him. Like mama said wan spoiled farisa a lot. heh.
The thing that I remember most about her is the gaga song. She would sing the song enthusiastically with the hand and jumping here and there. Farisa liked to give advices too. She would advise us a lot of things. Like telling hubby not to call me honey but auntie dayah instead. She would read the doa when we got into our car.
She always told me to sit with her. And not to go anywhere else of course. Then her mom; kak long would told her not to ordering me around. hehe.
She was the center of attention in the family. Her loss is a great test put upon the family. I have learn that Allah put test to the people that He loves. I pray that mama and babah, kak long and abg firdaus, faris and fariha, hubby, fiq and yen, kak yam and kak ani, the whole family, are given the strength to pass on this test. Farisa is chosen by the Almighty to be in a better place. She will always be remembered. Rest in peace Sufi Farisa. Al-Fatihah.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Little steps
I got to create my first WTP project that have Flex in the front end and Java in the back end by invoking servlet like normal Web App and deployed in Tomcat webserver. So I encountered a few problem that almost make me want to give up. There were a few tutorials that I followed but I think I want to put up the steps that I did and what I understand from the coding in MXML file, which is for flex, here. I don't want to make the same mistake twice of course.
So the tuts that I followed:
http://voiceoffresher.wordpress.com/tag/flex-with-servlet/
http://www.devrecipes.com/2009/04/20/flex-with-java-servlets-how-to-use-xml-from-an-httpservice-to-populate-a-data-gridtable
http://learn.adobe.com/wiki/display/Flex/2b.+Code+Files
I'll be going home now~~
So the tuts that I followed:
http://voiceoffresher.wordpress.com/tag/flex-with-servlet/
http://www.devrecipes.com/2009/04/20/flex-with-java-servlets-how-to-use-xml-from-an-httpservice-to-populate-a-data-gridtable
http://learn.adobe.com/wiki/display/Flex/2b.+Code+Files
I'll be going home now~~
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
research
Ok so after a couple of weeks without any research or kopi or meow2 I need to refocus now. I think before I was stuck at installing WTP in Flex Builder. But later I got to resolve it by installing from different source which was not from Malaysia source, US if Im not mistaken.
Ok somehow I don't know where to start now
Ok somehow I don't know where to start now
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Redang; SubhanaAllah
Last weekend hubby and me followed my colleagues went to Redang for a little break. And it turns out to be a nice and memorable vacation that actually I didn't quite expect. Thanks a lot to mr organizer and our activity organizer shah, muza and sayuth for making the trip ermm overwhelming. hehe 
Me and hubby had a really good time.
So we made our move separately from the others since we were from Putrajaya. It took about 6 hours to reach the state of Terengganu. And to tell the truth this is my first visit to pantai timur after... let me see 20 years
. I went there last with my family when I was little. so for the first time that garmin we bought serve a good purpose. We spent the night at badar's house, whos joining the trip as well, and headed to Redang the next morning. The road trip was really exhausting that maybe to go by flight is not a very bad idea after all. Eventho I was not the one driving. hehe.
1st day
I was worried about getting seasick at first and took the seasick pill. But as the consequence of exhaustion all of us just slept all the way on the ferry trip to the island.
Redang really wowed me. The white beach. The totally clear blue water that make you see all the fishes and I felt like a jakun a bit.. Our chalet were not that fancy since the sole purpose to go there was.... snorkeling! yeayy!
So at noon we started the first snorkeling trip and yup I was a freaking first timer. I had planned on what to wear beforehand since it quite bugged me how will I snorkel as a good muslimah. hehe. So I did some research on what are the girls wearing when snorkeling. What I found mostly wear the bawal tudung and at some point it could come off when you were in the water. So I decided to wear the ekin kind of tudung and muza wear this syria tudung which really looked nice on her and suit for swimming too.
So I think that ekin tudung really made my trip a whole lot easier. The first location we went to was in open sea (which I first heard as opency; err ape maksud die ek. heh). And it wasn't that bad eventho I can't swim. hehe. but the life jacket and of course hubby helped to pull me around. hehe. So we were there looking at the coral and the fish. and it was so amazinggg to look at. It's like a whole different world down there; living peacefully. Ok I might sound so dramatic but looking at the bottom of the sea was really mesmerizing. Makes me awe to the greatness of Allah. So I was like talking through the goggle thing to hubby and he didn't really give attention and it made me wonder. Then I realized that he was exhausted by keep swimming and tagging me along and the coral was not in his priority at the moment. hehe Thank you hubby! I made a promise to myself to learn swimming. Tapi.. bile? isk.
After dinner we played bunch of games starting with treasure hunt, then guess-what-song then build-anything-u-like-with-trashes-around-you.. hehe. . And it was fun! I can't really remember the last time I played all these games.
So after the games we laid down on the beach watching the stars. Well.. it started off with gossiping actually. Anyway there was no clouds and no pollution I guess, so the sky was really clear and you could see all the stars I sure glad I had my contact lenses on. But I should have had my camera. Because.. guess what we got to see a shooting star! for the first time in my life. well actually I saw it twice. And people said make a wish if you see one. But of course I didn't believe that. hehe.
Ok of course I did not see it this big. But it's really cool right! *picture from google. heh*
2nd day
We rent an underwater camera for 50RM (from 9am to 6pm if I'm not mistaken) I taught at first so that we could take pictures of coral, fishes and stuff. But in the end the camera was full of our pictures of course. It was really worth it though. So I have a favorite picture:
We should have rent this camera earlier. So on this second day we went to two places for snorkeling. And finished all 150+ snaps we had with that camera. I finally got to see baby sharks after dok jealous with jimi and others who got to see them the day before. They kind of playing near the beach I guess. And they didn't bite luckily. This boy who one of the boat crew said the baby sharks come near the beach around 4pm, thats when you could see them. Later around 5 their mother (mak shark katenye) will call them back.
and I had a sudden shudder when he said that.
Aiyo times up. Need to get back to work. All in all the trip went really well. Alhamdulillah.. We managed to have a little vacation in the middle of the hassling of work. huhuhu...
*pictures credit to siti fatimah and sayuth.
Me and hubby had a really good time.So we made our move separately from the others since we were from Putrajaya. It took about 6 hours to reach the state of Terengganu. And to tell the truth this is my first visit to pantai timur after... let me see 20 years
. I went there last with my family when I was little. so for the first time that garmin we bought serve a good purpose. We spent the night at badar's house, whos joining the trip as well, and headed to Redang the next morning. The road trip was really exhausting that maybe to go by flight is not a very bad idea after all. Eventho I was not the one driving. hehe. 1st day
I was worried about getting seasick at first and took the seasick pill. But as the consequence of exhaustion all of us just slept all the way on the ferry trip to the island.
Redang really wowed me. The white beach. The totally clear blue water that make you see all the fishes and I felt like a jakun a bit.
. Our chalet were not that fancy since the sole purpose to go there was.... snorkeling! yeayy!After dinner we played bunch of games starting with treasure hunt, then guess-what-song then build-anything-u-like-with-trashes-around-you.. hehe. . And it was fun! I can't really remember the last time I played all these games.
So after the games we laid down on the beach watching the stars. Well.. it started off with gossiping actually
. Anyway there was no clouds and no pollution I guess, so the sky was really clear and you could see all the stars I sure glad I had my contact lenses on. But I should have had my camera. Because.. guess what we got to see a shooting star! for the first time in my life. well actually I saw it twice. And people said make a wish if you see one. But of course I didn't believe that. hehe.2nd day
We rent an underwater camera for 50RM (from 9am to 6pm if I'm not mistaken) I taught at first so that we could take pictures of coral, fishes and stuff. But in the end the camera was full of our pictures of course.
It was really worth it though. So I have a favorite picture: We should have rent this camera earlier. So on this second day we went to two places for snorkeling. And finished all 150+ snaps we had with that camera. I finally got to see baby sharks after dok jealous with jimi and others who got to see them the day before. They kind of playing near the beach I guess. And they didn't bite luckily. This boy who one of the boat crew said the baby sharks come near the beach around 4pm, thats when you could see them. Later around 5 their mother (mak shark katenye) will call them back.
and I had a sudden shudder when he said that.**********
Aiyo times up. Need to get back to work. All in all the trip went really well. Alhamdulillah.. We managed to have a little vacation in the middle of the hassling of work.
huhuhu...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
warna warni kehidupan
So me and a few of my colleagues (this word is hard to spell. ) went to a communication skill course. It was a two days course but I only managed to go for a day. They taught us how to speak the right english and stuff. Anyway it was pretty refreshing but towards the end they brought up an issue that got me thinking. And it is not a very good thought especially in a place like this country. Yup it is about race.
As a teacher I treat my students equally regardless of their skin color. But I can't help to notice that my-skin-color of students are very much weak academically. It does make me feel a bit upset. And I'm sick and tired of people saying; the malays are lazy, the malays are weak bla bla..
Does this looks like I'm living in denial. I refuse to accept that kind of statements. I just plain hate it cause when I look at my students most of them have good attitude and they respect us. Of course there's a few exception case but most of them are very polite. I'm still looking for the right way to teach. Maybe there's something that we're missing that makes the malays left out. I don't think it's because of english because they do understand english. It's just that they're not comfortable to communicate in english. So I'm still not sure what is it actually ...
) went to a communication skill course. It was a two days course but I only managed to go for a day. They taught us how to speak the right english and stuff. Anyway it was pretty refreshing but towards the end they brought up an issue that got me thinking. And it is not a very good thought especially in a place like this country. Yup it is about race.As a teacher I treat my students equally regardless of their skin color. But I can't help to notice that my-skin-color of students are very much weak academically. It does make me feel a bit upset. And I'm sick and tired of people saying; the malays are lazy, the malays are weak bla bla..
Does this looks like I'm living in denial. I refuse to accept that kind of statements. I just plain hate it cause when I look at my students most of them have good attitude and they respect us. Of course there's a few exception case but most of them are very polite. I'm still looking for the right way to teach. Maybe there's something that we're missing that makes the malays left out. I don't think it's because of english because they do understand english. It's just that they're not comfortable to communicate in english. So I'm still not sure what is it actually ...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
new stuff
I have encountered with an interesting client technology a few weeks back: Flex. Its by adobe that have look n feel of Flash but with Flex we can program it. Hope I got this definition right. Actually its been introduced a few years back. I'm the one whose always in slow mo. hehehe.
So I'm planning to replace jsp and html with flex in the front end. But the thing of using technology that I'm not familiar with... It will always take me a damnnn long time to configure it!. And I'm 90% sure about this. But since I have a year to do this. What the heck. And it looks exciting so why not right. Anyway, the good thing about Flex, we can integrate it with almost all server tech. Java, PHP, coldfusion, etc. So in my case I pick Java, since thats the only language I think I have interest to do it.
So turn out the flex builder is using Eclipse; the same IDE for Java and that means we can edit both in the same editor and the same project. Found a nice simple tutorial for this configuration.But haven't quite finish it yet. Hope it works...
Another thing , it seems that I can't really host web site on my PC at work because for obvious reason; its in my workplace's network of course. I need the router password and whattnot and "fat chance" the IT people gonna let me have it. And I don't really understand all these networking jargons. So I thought maybe I can put in web hosting like the other people do it. But if we want to install the hosting server with any kind of software we need.. we can't. The hosting server that let us do that is.. dedicated server. And it is freaking expansive for rent. Like a few hundred ringgit per month. Hurmm.. I hope I'm getting all these info right.
So in my thought lets put the issue of publishing the web app or ria or whatever behind first. Lets focus on building the thing. And to start developing.. hurm lets see what should I buy now.. can't wait to spend on my grant. ;p
So I'm planning to replace jsp and html with flex in the front end. But the thing of using technology that I'm not familiar with... It will always take me a damnnn long time to configure it!. And I'm 90% sure about this. But since I have a year to do this. What the heck. And it looks exciting so why not right. Anyway, the good thing about Flex, we can integrate it with almost all server tech. Java, PHP, coldfusion, etc. So in my case I pick Java, since thats the only language I think I have interest to do it.
So turn out the flex builder is using Eclipse; the same IDE for Java and that means we can edit both in the same editor and the same project. Found a nice simple tutorial for this configuration.But haven't quite finish it yet. Hope it works...
Another thing , it seems that I can't really host web site on my PC at work because for obvious reason; its in my workplace's network of course. I need the router password and whattnot and "fat chance" the IT people gonna let me have it. And I don't really understand all these networking jargons. So I thought maybe I can put in web hosting like the other people do it. But if we want to install the hosting server with any kind of software we need.. we can't. The hosting server that let us do that is.. dedicated server. And it is freaking expansive for rent. Like a few hundred ringgit per month. Hurmm.. I hope I'm getting all these info right.
So in my thought lets put the issue of publishing the web app or ria or whatever behind first. Lets focus on building the thing. And to start developing.. hurm lets see what should I buy now.. can't wait to spend on my grant. ;p
Sunday, April 25, 2010
feel bad
So today was just like normal weekends we had; movies, lunch, window shopping. But this time we bought something; books. I was looking for books for my research project actually and suddenly I felt so old-fashioned looking for books in store which I usually did it online. I mean for academic books. Obviously there were a lot more choices compared to this MPH store. But Borders have a lot more nice books and this reminded me back in Vandy where we sometimes waste our time in Borders reading comics for free. :P and had starbucks too. Those were the good old days.
So I bought this book titled: diary of a wimpy kid. It was a story of a kid but I like the way the book was written when I first read it.
I'm at page 136 now when I felt that this book had no climax whatsoever. It is a plain story of a middle school kid but with a nicer presentation. I think I'll pass it to my younger sister. See if she likes it. She bought this book; seven sorcerers or something that I can't even comprehend the content.
Hubby bought percy jacksons fourth book. We like this sequel so far. Hope this one would be even more interesting. When he asked for the fifth one (which I can't remember what the title was). The sales girl quickly replied bla bla and demigod bla bla.. and its only in hard cover.. bla bla I bought it .. bla bla..
And I can tell she's really into the books too. And I started to judge the girl this and that. In my mind of course. It is a really bad habit of mine. Judging people or assume things about people and I can't help it. Even though I don't say it out loud but sometimes I ter tell hubby and he would say all the gracious thing about not to prejudice others. hehe. I do know that I have no right to assume bad stuff about other people especially when we don't know them any better. Well I'm trying to keep it down now... Ok thats it. bye.
So I bought this book titled: diary of a wimpy kid. It was a story of a kid but I like the way the book was written when I first read it.
Hubby bought percy jacksons fourth book. We like this sequel so far. Hope this one would be even more interesting. When he asked for the fifth one (which I can't remember what the title was). The sales girl quickly replied bla bla and demigod bla bla.. and its only in hard cover.. bla bla I bought it .. bla bla..
And I can tell she's really into the books too. And I started to judge the girl this and that. In my mind of course. It is a really bad habit of mine. Judging people or assume things about people and I can't help it. Even though I don't say it out loud but sometimes I ter tell hubby and he would say all the gracious thing about not to prejudice others. hehe. I do know that I have no right to assume bad stuff about other people especially when we don't know them any better. Well I'm trying to keep it down now... Ok thats it. bye.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
new user
Me and hubby bought this new netbook MSI wind u160 last week as I kinda feel that I need one.. hehe. So anyway, ordinarily its equipped with windows 7 starter. I'm not a windows 7 user. so I didnt put much thought in it. until later I found out that theres quite a few deficiency in this version of windows. I can't even change my desktop background which made me thought how cheapskate microsoft can be. :P
So luckily there is a workaround for this; the name is oceanis. I guess what the software did it enable the window 7 feature to change wallpaper. and it works. yeay!
All in all I loykee this new gadget because... its new! hehe Its a bit slow though cause of the processor I guess. atom. eventhough we have upgraded the ram to the max; 2 gig its still not up to the normal laptop speed. thats what we have to compromise I guess.
Whatever boring stuff. I've been thinking it is about time for me to start my research for STG. Actually Im already late on schedule.. I should have started about two months ago. haiyaaaaaa.aa...aa.
So luckily there is a workaround for this; the name is oceanis. I guess what the software did it enable the window 7 feature to change wallpaper. and it works. yeay!
All in all I loykee this new gadget because... its new! hehe Its a bit slow though cause of the processor I guess. atom. eventhough we have upgraded the ram to the max; 2 gig its still not up to the normal laptop speed. thats what we have to compromise I guess.
Whatever boring stuff. I've been thinking it is about time for me to start my research for STG. Actually Im already late on schedule.. I should have started about two months ago. haiyaaaaaa.aa...aa.
hehe.. nice one.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Another Task
Completed my little experiment.. Err sort of. Thanks to Russell Bateman for his very thorough tutorial. hehe
Have another task at hand now. Next semester subject!! waaa..
what to do. what to do. what to do.
to do list:
1) configure web server on PC
2) TRY hosting the web app on PC. (finger cross)
3) Search on Dixau DX3 <-- totally unrelated. heh
thats my want to do list. Here's my unwanted to do list. ;P
1) List all possible topics in Comp Prog in C
2) Divide them into 3 related topics
3) tgk calendar and start planning!
Have another task at hand now. Next semester subject!! waaa..
what to do. what to do. what to do.
to do list:
1) configure web server on PC
2) TRY hosting the web app on PC. (finger cross)
3) Search on Dixau DX3 <-- totally unrelated. heh
thats my want to do list. Here's my unwanted to do list. ;P
1) List all possible topics in Comp Prog in C
2) Divide them into 3 related topics
3) tgk calendar and start planning!
troubleshoooooting
so the first double trouble that I have encountered in my little project was getting eclipse to run. After finish installing java -> JDK & JRE 6 update 20; Tomcat 6.0.26 and eclipse,... my eclipse won't run. did some digging and found out that eclipse can't find the JRE installed in my machine. Thats what I got for gatal2 did everything in D drive. Just dont want to mess with my C drive so much.
So I followed what the web guru suggested; run eclipse with -vm argument pointing out eclipse to the right path....
eclipse -vm D:\Project\jdk1.6.0_20\jre\bin
to be continued..
12.32am
ok at least I got the web server and my first project running.. after a few months I left all this web thingy.
tomorrow gonna start with another basic stuff.. servlet! hehe my lecturer's gonna kill me if she knows I have totally forgotten what shes been teaching... for the whole semester! ;P
http://www.windofkeltia.com/j2ee/wtp-tutorial.html#create-servlet
good night~~
So I followed what the web guru suggested; run eclipse with -vm argument pointing out eclipse to the right path....
eclipse -vm D:\Project\jdk1.6.0_20\jre\bin
to be continued..
12.32am
ok at least I got the web server and my first project running.. after a few months I left all this web thingy.
tomorrow gonna start with another basic stuff.. servlet! hehe my lecturer's gonna kill me if she knows I have totally forgotten what shes been teaching... for the whole semester! ;P
http://www.windofkeltia.com/j2ee/wtp-tutorial.html#create-servlet
good night~~
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
meow meow II
My project doesnt really work yesterday. I need to configure the webserver right tho. So lets try this one now. But of course after all these markings.. waaaa...
http://www.windofkeltia.com/j2ee/wtp-tutorial.html
http://ndoenks.multiply.com/journal/item/68/How_to_Install_Sun_JDK_Eclipse_and_Apache_Tomcat_in_Ubuntu.
http://www.eclipse.org/webtools/jst/components/ws/1.0/tutorials/InstallTomcat/InstallTomcat.html
http://javaboutique.internet.com/tutorials/three/index-3.html
http://www.windofkeltia.com/j2ee/wtp-tutorial.html
http://ndoenks.multiply.com/journal/item/68/How_to_Install_Sun_JDK_Eclipse_and_Apache_Tomcat_in_Ubuntu.
http://www.eclipse.org/webtools/jst/components/ws/1.0/tutorials/InstallTomcat/InstallTomcat.html
http://javaboutique.internet.com/tutorials/three/index-3.html
Monday, April 12, 2010
meow meow
ok for the webserver we use this kucing and kopi.
http://www.sipages.com/jetv1.shtml
http://www.xwt.org/tutorial/eclipse/
http://www.sipages.com/jetv1.shtml
http://www.xwt.org/tutorial/eclipse/
time management
Lottsss to do with very little time. By tomorrow I should have settle...
1) Marking PMD Report.
2) Open my checking account
3) Pay my debt to da lawyerr.... :(
4) Have my Fail Meja done.
5) Study project yg nk kene present tomorrow. waaaa
Ok.. dont think I can manage to do all that. So a few thing will be sacrificed. muahahaha. And I will have to pay for the consequences.
Lately I've been getting negative aura from my students. Haiyaa I can't really satisfy everyone can I. I hope they understand. **sigh**
Me and hubby had a great weekend together. Yeay. Now I've learned that simple stuff does make a different and we don't need to be so detail all the time. Sometimes its good to keep it simple. ;)
1) Marking PMD Report.
2) Open my checking account
3) Pay my debt to da lawyerr.... :(
4) Have my Fail Meja done.
5) Study project yg nk kene present tomorrow. waaaa
Ok.. dont think I can manage to do all that. So a few thing will be sacrificed. muahahaha. And I will have to pay for the consequences.
Lately I've been getting negative aura from my students. Haiyaa I can't really satisfy everyone can I. I hope they understand. **sigh**
Me and hubby had a great weekend together. Yeay. Now I've learned that simple stuff does make a different and we don't need to be so detail all the time. Sometimes its good to keep it simple. ;)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
world wide web
OK I've been around this issue for quite some time. need to test this out. See if it works.. Gambatee!
http://www.boutell.com/newfaq/creating/hostmyown.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Host-Your-Own-Website-for-Free
http://www.boutell.com/newfaq/creating/hostmyown.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Host-Your-Own-Website-for-Free
Feeling lost
I have a lot to write. But doesn't have the courage to pour it out here. There were times of ups and downs. Accidentally bumped into this song from seberang..
wahai Tuhan jauh sudah
lelah kaki melangkah
aku hilang tanpa arah
rindu hati sinarMu
wahai Tuhan aku lemah
hilang terumur noda
hapuskanlah terangilah
jiwa di hitam jalanku
ampunkanlah aku
terimalah taubatku
sesungguhnya Engkau
sang maha pengampun dosa
Ya Robbi, ijinkanlah
aku kembali padaMu
meski mungkin takkan sempurna
aku sebagai hambaMu
ampunkanlah aku
terimalah taubatku
sesungguhnya Engkau
sang maha pengampun dosa
berilkanlah aku
kesempatan waktu
aku ingin kembali
kembali...
dan meski aku tak layak
sujud padaMu
dan sungguh tak layak
aku...
wahai Tuhan jauh sudah
lelah kaki melangkah
aku hilang tanpa arah
rindu hati sinarMu
wahai Tuhan aku lemah
hilang terumur noda
hapuskanlah terangilah
jiwa di hitam jalanku
ampunkanlah aku
terimalah taubatku
sesungguhnya Engkau
sang maha pengampun dosa
Ya Robbi, ijinkanlah
aku kembali padaMu
meski mungkin takkan sempurna
aku sebagai hambaMu
ampunkanlah aku
terimalah taubatku
sesungguhnya Engkau
sang maha pengampun dosa
berilkanlah aku
kesempatan waktu
aku ingin kembali
kembali...
dan meski aku tak layak
sujud padaMu
dan sungguh tak layak
aku...
Monday, February 22, 2010
miracle
Whenever I get really upset I would wish for some sort of a miracle to happen. Like an easy button I can push to make everything turns out ok. That would be perfect.
The scene keep replaying and I hate it. I think the devil is messing with my head. How I wish for a miracle now. I know I won't be getting any tho. It doesn't work that way. We have to work for what we want.
The scene keep replaying and I hate it. I think the devil is messing with my head. How I wish for a miracle now. I know I won't be getting any tho. It doesn't work that way. We have to work for what we want.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
what defines you?
big house? big car? career?
You got to find what you love. An inspiring speech from Steve Jobs I have just read. And at this moment I think I am doing what I love. InsyaAllah..
'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
You got to find what you love. An inspiring speech from Steve Jobs I have just read. And at this moment I think I am doing what I love. InsyaAllah..
'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
money money
OK I better write something up rather than melayan kan ngantuk yg kuase lapan. So Im officially BROKE. sob sob. I've only got like 5 hengget in my purse. My wedding which actually about a month ago really took a toll on me. So I was thinking to get a pinch from my saving account for me to survive next week. tapi sayangg nye. hehe kedekut kan.
Well not really kedekut. But Im saving up for something else. Our financial (hubby n me) is not that convincing currently. We're thinking about doing business or something to strengthen our economy. But its still at angan-angan mat jenin level. heh ;P
A colleague of mine just get pregnant. Having a baby. It would be a lie if I said Im not thinking about it. Wish me and saf would have one soon. Aminnn.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I wish..
OK I updated my wishlist for this year. Possibly add a few more later:
1) New Ariyani(s). - been wanting to buy the ones yg bercorak2 cause it looks pretty cool. why do you hv to settle for ariyani if you can ones yg lebih menguntung kan.. i also dunno why..
2) digital weight scale - have to watch out for my increasing weight uwaaa.. eventho hubby loves me seadanya. (hehe confident sungguh)
3)Swimming lesson - as part of my plan to loose weight and so that i can accompany him snorkeling. iskk.
4)Blousesss - hurm utk tuka style a bit. still in planning tho.
Alrightyy thats all for now. workkk..
1) New Ariyani(s). - been wanting to buy the ones yg bercorak2 cause it looks pretty cool. why do you hv to settle for ariyani if you can ones yg lebih menguntung kan.. i also dunno why..
2) digital weight scale - have to watch out for my increasing weight uwaaa.. eventho hubby loves me seadanya. (hehe confident sungguh)
3)Swimming lesson - as part of my plan to loose weight and so that i can accompany him snorkeling. iskk.
4)Blousesss - hurm utk tuka style a bit. still in planning tho.
Alrightyy thats all for now. workkk..
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
One !
I was trying to work on my lecture slides but instead I spent one hour to find a name for my new blog. **sigh** hope this one would stay a bit longer.
Playing the climb and hoping I would get everything done. Chaiyok hidayah! Don't let what other people think about you get in your way so much ya! Bismillah....
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